About 2 weeks ago, my 10-year-old daughter was walking around singing, “big booty ho, wut wut wut” and my mouth dropped. I mean yeah my kids say ‘dumb’ and ‘stupid’ and ‘jerk’ and ‘idiot’ but nothing beyond that (yes It’s true despite the crazy amount that I swear sometimes, and the answer is yes, I do keep them in a cave) so anyway, I took her to the side and told her that what she was saying was bad, bad, baaaad.
She went to sleep crying, poor thing.
Fast forward to today. My 9-year-old son asks me, “mom why can’t we say the ‘h’ word?”
I ask him, “what ‘h’ word?”
“The one you told sister she couldn’t say,” he says.
I still don’t know what he’s talking about.
“It’s the word. You know, the one people use to talk about that thing you dig plants with.” He sighs.
At this point, I know exactly what word he’s talking about so I tell him, “because it’s not a nice word. It’s bad.”
“Oh.” He half-whispers, his mouth twisted into a frown. “Then why does Santa Claus say it?”
“Because he’s a baaaaad baaaaaad man.” I say. I’m half hoping he’ll buy it because that means no more asking the fat ass for presents but no.
He totally thinks I’m joking.
Hawaiian Supermom 
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